Diary of an unemployed hygienist

Day 1
Okay. I bookmarked those job sites, contacted the temp agencies and…Oh! I want to call that dentist about Fridays. He may need someone. Resumé updated. Well, kind of updated. Why is font selection such a battle with me? Just pick a nice font, woman. Times New Roman…boring. Arial…yuck. Tunga! Oh, yeah. Tunga, baby. In italics. Classic…wait…is that my phone? Please be a job.

Day 1 Goal: Try to relax.I’m not alone.

 Day 7

That was a great CE course. It was informative and a great review for me. However, I’m not looking forward to my aging process with the likelihood of xerostomia and osteoporosis with CVD thrown in for good measure. Woo-hoo. What course should I take next? I know. I’m going to design my own courses…Dental Hygienist Unemployment and Isolation: Signs and Symptoms of The Pending Crazies.

Next will be The Dangers of YouTube: Parts 1 & 2 and finally, Just Give Me a #$%@! Job: Pleeeeease?

Day 7 Goal: Make myself valuable. Soft tissue laser certification? Research!

Day 16

I’m going to rock this working interview today. I own it. I did my research on the practice, my references are solid and I feel relaxed and in control. I am so ready!

“You smell like a cucumber.”

Stop. What did husband just say? I’m dressed to the nines, my make-up is near perfection and I’m feeling uber confident. I finally land an interview and he tells me I smell like a salad?

“Dude, I don’t need to hear that right now, okay? I need you to tell me I look fabulous, I’m the most competent hygienist out there and that I smell normal.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

“Well, I’m just saying, dear.” He called me dear. I hate that. Now my floodgates have opened. “I’m sorry, honey. You’re a great hygienist. You’re going to blow them away. And you smell beautiful.” That hug felt good.

“Thank you, my love. That’s what I needed to hear… and it’s my new conditioner, ya jerk.”

[later that day…]

Performing a prophy on the dentist was not what I had in mind when I think of a working interview but it went well. I felt a lot of open margins on several of her older resins. I’m glad I told her that. Did she think that was okay to say? Some dentists don’t like that. They don’t want pro-active. Perhaps they just want a ‘cleaning woman’ to come in each day and perform averagely. I think I did fine. It was okay. It was warm in her office. I sweat a little. I don’t like sweating. Did the doctor see my sweat? When I sweat I stink. I hope I didn’t stink. I don’t want to be a stinky hygienist. I don’t want patients to know I’m stinky. Maybe I didn’t stink. Perhaps everything was fine and the dentist only smelled my hair.

Day 16 Goal: Next potential interview, get specific in talking about being pro-active. What am I proactive with? Why is this important for a practice?

Day 17

I should have a Craigslist mainline tapped directly into the back of my neck. All I would have to do is get jacked-up like Neo in ‘The Matrix’ and-bam! Instant neuro-cyber employment up-load! Awesome. I would contact dentists even before their job postings hit the web! Sweet…Okay, I need to get out of the house for awhile.

Day 17 Goal: Register with dental software seminars. Get educated!