The top 8 dental movies of ALL time
It’s Oscars season, which means it’s time to round up the best movies out there.
The academy awards are a celebration of the best movies of the past year. They pay tribute to the best and brightest that Hollywood has to offer, and every year millions of people gather to watch beautiful people receive beautiful rewards.
Here at DPR, we do things a little differently. We know that dentists are busy people and don’t have time to see every movie that comes out. And why bother watching a movie if it’s not interesting? So we’re here to show you the best movies that feature dentists. We don’t have any statues to hand out, or even a fancy name (the “Dentees” sounds a little too close to the “Dundies”).
But we do know, without even the slightest hint of irony, that these are the top 8 greatest films ever produced. Or at least the best dental movies. We’re not experts on movies. But we are experts on all things dental, so we’ll be giving you a lesson from each movie, allowing you to learn everything you need to know about them without ever even needing to watch them.
Up next: The top 8 movies about dentists and what they can teach you
8. The Whole Nine Yards
An odd film to start off our list, and certainly not one popular with critics. But this movie had to be on our list, because it features a dentist as its lovable protagonist. The film follows Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky, a dentist played by Matthew Perry. He faces everyday problems like a bad marriage, a shaky career and the constant threat of assassination.
The film also stars Bruce Willis, in what will undoubtedly be remembered as his finest role. He plays Jimmy “the Tulip” Tudeski, a professional hitman given amnesty after testifying against a gang. The two go on a wild adventure filled with twists and capers, but end the film happy, each newly married and debt-free (and presumably in good oral health).
What dentists can learn from this movie:
The secret to getting rid of mounting debts can be solved by hanging out more with Bruce Willis and occasionally placing yourself in mortal danger. As the trailer says, “Being yourself could get you killed.”
7. Harry Potter
In a blink-or-you’ll-miss-it detail, Hermione Granger’s parents are both dentists. If you don’t already know the plot of the Harry Potter series, it involves a lot of magic, school, bullying, evil dark lords and, occasionally, dentistry. We know for certain that Hermione’s parents did not work in the magical world, or their jobs would have been obsolete (assuming Madame Pomfrey in the Hogwart’s infirmary could also handle implant cases), but we can also assume that they were very competent dentists, given the brilliance of their daughter.
What dentists can learn from this movie:
Don’t have magical children, or that child will one day be forced to remove all your memories of her for fear of retribution by he-who-must-not-be-named. Also, dentists seem like they are very good at making tea.
6. The Hangover
Another small detail that you may have missed. Dr. Stuart “Stu” Price, played by Ed Helms is a dentist, the only seemingly normal one among his group of insane friends. When Stu, along with three friends, goes to Vegas to celebrate his friend Doug’s upcoming marriage, things quickly spiral out of control. Doug’s future brother-in-law, Alan, played by the delightfully strange Zach Galifianakis, drugs them all in hopes of better night, resulting in Doug’s disappearance, Stu’s tooth being knocked out and far too many run-ins with a tiger.
What dentists can learn from this movie:
Being a dentist does not mean that you are safe from dental injury. Never invite Zach Galifianakis to a bachelor party, or you will end up in a getting tasered in the face.
5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Dentists really don’t have it easy, do they? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the Tim Burton remake of the terrifying 1971 Gene Wilder movie and beloved children’s book. The movie is about Charlie Bucket, a poor boy whose father is forced to work in a factory sealing toothpaste caps. But that’s just the beginning for dentists. While the film is about Charlie, the star of the movie is Johnny Depp’s supremely odd Willy Wonka. And the reason for his odd behaviors? You guessed it, an overbearing dentist father.
Related article: 8 candies that make dental professionals scream
What dentists can learn from this movie:
Don’t be harsh with your children, or they will grow up and enslave an entire population to work in their definitely-not-OSHA-approved candy factory.
4. Horrible Bosses
This is the second entry on this list to involve hitmen, meaning that, according to Hollywood, dentists are more than likely to get caught up in some sort of murder fiasco. One of the titular bosses, played by Jennifer Aniston, is dentist that frequently sexually assaults one of her employees, Dale, played by Charlie Day. Dale and two of his other friends team up to kill their respective bosses, and things go horribly wrong.
What dentists can learn from this movie:
There are many ways to deal with a difficult boss, but homicide is probably the worst solution.
3. Finding Nemo
Kids movies are supposed to teach kids about things like responsibility and how to cross the street. Finding Nemo teaches kids that they shouldn’t ever swim in the ocean (good advice?) or trust dentists (bad advice). Nemo is captured by an Australian dentist/scuba diver and stuck in an aquarium along with the outcasts of fish society. His father spends the entire film finding Nemo (Pixar is great at making movies, but not great at clever titles). This movie contains another psychotic child of a dentist, reinforcing the point that dentists apparently pass on cruelty.
What dentists can learn from this movie:
DPR will soon start hiring fish to write some of our techniques.
2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
This movie gives a rare glimpse of dentistry as a positive profession in a movie. Hermey the elf makes the brave decision to become a dentist and, like the titular character, is cast out by his friends and family. But after saving the day from a monster and a snowstorm, Rudolph learns that his nose is really a gift after all, and Hermey opens a dentist’s office in the elf village (elves are apparently very lax about the amount of education needed to become a doctor).
What dentists can learn from this movie:
Just like Rudolph, dentists provide a service that can and will save the day (especially after reading about how nasty the mouth really is).
1. Little Shop of Horrors
Here it is. The greatest dental film of all time. We don’t even have to explain the movie, because nothing else about this movie matters besides the dentist. Sure there’s a singing, man-eating plant, but all of that is irrelevant next to Steve Martin’s sadistic dentist.
We apologize that the top spot belongs to a film designed to perpetuate negative dental stereotypes, but Martin’s performance seals this as the greatest dental movie of all time. He sings, he dances, he laughs at pain, he holds oversized dental instruments, he punches his assistant (not one of our recommended tips for dealing with a troublesome employee). Congratulations Little Shop of Horrors!
What dentists can learn from this movie:
You can be as evil as you want if you have a cool motorcycle and leather jacket to back it up. It also can’t hurt to be Steve Martin.
