). I have a friend who is a hygienist who shared this with me. What would you say?

Here I sit with my son sick with mono and all of its complications. He got ill one week after I started a new job (

Why couldn’t he have been more considerate of my schedule? I had been off work for months!

). It was THE dream job at THE dream practice I have always wanted to get into. My girlfriend kept her eyes open for me and got me in the door when another hygienist gave her notice … but there has not been time to celebrate. Instead, I have been running on exhaustion … or is it just fumes? Let me share with you my reality (

Here’s a warning … it ain’t pretty!)

The 13 scariest stories told to us by dental team members

My son is a pretty good kid who rarely gets ill. He came down with low-grade temperatures almost two weeks ago. So far, so good. I was able to go to my job and only feel that guilty feeling when I thought about it. He was OK to be at home alone, so I did my job and just got out of there at the end of the day on time. I kept my head down, stayed focus, and worked smart. No one knew he was sick and that was what I preferred.

On Friday, my son called me at work sounding like a scared, little boy. He said, “I am scared, because I can’t eat and lost 6 lbs this week.” (

That would have caused me to do the victory dance, but for a skinny, tall kid? This was cause for alarm

.) It was time to see the doctor. We went after work. (I get out at 4 p.m.) Other than his weight loss and low-grade temperature, there were no other signs. It was a bug or something that would just have to run its course (

I knew this wasn’t going to last very long

). That weekend, he started vomiting. On Monday, I had to figure out what to do. I have patients who are counting on me to be there. How could I get time off to take him to the doctor? My husband also has a job and can’t just take off time. It was time to call in the cavalry (who is your cavalry?). My sister doesn’t work on Mondays, so she got the honors of taking him to the pediatrician. I got a text saying that my son has mono and some other complications like an inflamed liver and spleen.

The top 10 things you can think but never say to a dental patient

Two days later, he started complaining that he couldn’t swallow and his throat was on fire. His tongue turned green and we went back to the doctor. Now we needed the serious drugs … steroids, narcotics, and something to numb the throat. Again, the cavalry came to the rescue. My father played a major role in helping me take care of my son.

While all this was going on, I magically still put in my 40 hours of work. I pulled strings having people call or show up at the house with smoothies, applesauce, or soup. Meanwhile, I was wracked with guilt. What kind of mother was I to be at work instead of with my son?

The 5 worst things overhead inside a dental practice

Everyone at work knew how ill my son was. It is hard to keep things private when you need to talk on the phone to the school, to my son, and to my family to coordinate taking care of him. Yes, I did all this while continuing to do my job. People were impressed with my work ethic. Poor thing, they whispered, this new girl has a sick kid at home, yet she was doing a great job. People were so kind to ask about my son, but I got tired of it. I just wanted to come to work and get the job done. I didn’t want to relive this nightmare over and over again. I just wanted to stay focused, but probably didn’t do a good job of that.

I was so sleep deprived, it was a wonder that I didn’t cause an error or a car accident on the way to work. The bottom line is that taking work off wasn’t an option. I can’t afford to go with unpaid time off. I also didn’t want this job to get started off on the wrong foot. So, I did what I had to do. But dental peers, I felt terrible. It is a myth to think you can have it all. You can’t. You can’t live through a nightmare and expect that somehow it won’t impact your job. It does … but you just plow forward and do the best you can and don’t judge yourself for not being perfect. I did quite a head game on myself, telling myself what a horrible parent I was, but I need the paycheck. The answer to this is simple … do the best you can and let the rest go. I am not the worst mother in the world. I am not the worst employee in the world. I am just trying to do the best I can. The boss gave me some slack. I need to learn to give myself some slack. How about you? Would you be as hard on yourself as I have been on me?

How to handle daily pain in the dental practice before it becomes chronic

If you have had this kind of experience where your personal life has invaded your work life, drop me an email at 

 and share how you kept your sanity and got through that experience. Yes, even the experts need help when” life happens.” 

Lisa Newburger, a master's level social worker supervisor, helps audiences find humor in talking about tough topics. Her "in-your-face" style of presentations and writing will make you smile or just shock you into taking some action. Either way, she is very effective at empowering others to reach their goals and feel better about themselves. Her entertaining workshops are available for national and international audiences. Writing for the dental industry since 2010, she uses an alterego (Diana Directive) to illustrate her points in a sarcastic but effective way. Presentations can be scheduled by contacting Lisa at 

Articles

Readers, I need your help (I am not bluffing). I have a friend who is a hygienist who shared this with me. What would you say?

The myth of work-life balance? It's nonsense, says one dental hygienist

After working a full day of clinical hygiene in a North Carolina dental practice, Anastasia Turchetta, RDH, took a few moments to chat with Modern Hygienist about the six things she believes every dental hygienist should do in order to grow themselves as a professional and boost the bottom line of the dental practice.

Watch Turchetta discuss the link between oral sex and oral cancer

“We use our skills every day, but we also have to put the business hat on,” Turchetta said. “I think every dental hygienist should think about what he or she brings to the table for that dental practice. If you’re thinking there is something you’d like to have in the practice or something you’d like to do, you and the doctor has to know what you bring to the table. Write it down and have a clear strategy of what you are doing and how you’re going to get to where you want to go.”

Watch Turchetta's interview on the impact of e-cigarettes

Turchetta also thinks it’s critical for every hygienist to invest in his or her own continuing education.

“You have to grow as a professional, and you can’t always rely on someone else to help you do that,” she said. “You have to not only nurture your knowledge, but also your passion for what you do on a daily basis. If you want to really take ownership in that practice, you should do other courses besides just updating your clinical skills. Think about taking a marketing or business course as well.”

Watch Turchetta's Webinar on how to solve The Insane Pain of hypersensitivity

Click on the video below to hear more of Turchetta’s thoughts on the six things every dental hygienist should be doing …

The 6 things every dental hygienist should be doing to grow professionally

Will assistance help or hinder your child’s ability to become financially independent? 

 says he knows of dentists with kids in their 50s still living at home or receiving $30,000+ payments.

The savvy hygienist: Your personal budget in 5 minutes per month

Provide a mortgage down payment. This is a good way to jump-start your child to stability. Make sure you don’t make mortgage payments also. That may become a never-ending cycle.

Pay your child’s moving expenses for a better paying job.

Pay for vocational or career training, as long as the time period is within reason and your child doesn’t continually change his or her mind.

Set parameters for payments: 1/3 of parents just give money and don’t know where it goes. Have specific areas you’ll pay, such as internet, cell phone, utilities, or insurance.

Get something in return:
	42% of adult children contribute with cleaning or cooking.
	75% contribute with money for rent, mortgage, or utilities.
	If they are away from home, they can provide website maintenance or social media help for parents.

If your adult children give nothing in return, YOU are the problem!

The savvy hygienist: Your retirement number in less than 10 minutes

Don’t sacrifice your retirement. Two years is the maximum most parents will feel comfortable working longer.

Don’t forget an exit strategy for your kids. Many adult children have one, yet fail to keep it. Update as needed. Also, consider a taper-off period of funding over a year or two.

Additional reading:	The savvy hygienist: How to manage and control personal debt

Will assistance help or hinder your child’s ability to become financially independent? Dr. Doug Carlsen says he knows of dentists with kids in their 50s still living at home or receiving $30,000+ payments. 

The savvy hygienist: 5 do's and 2 don't's for the Bank of Mom and Dad [VIDEO]

, we introduced the idea of the Modern Millennial Hygienist (MMH). MMH challenges our brains to use higher level revolutionary thinking. Growth and change can 

 return on investment (ROI) and profitability for the practice AND the hygienist. This issue, we will look at how a MMH uses the opportunities downtime provides.

One of the tenants of the millennials we can learn from is they don’t work off the clock. In the world the pre-millennials created, people struggle with 

. An entire industry cropped up over it. 

This time of year, moving into fall, can be downtime in our offices. There’s a limit to how many times you can organize a drawer. The number of patients may be down and the no-show/broken appointments may be up for a number of reasons … but that doesn’t mean you can’t be productive.

Here are five revolutionary ideas you can do to make your job more secure and help the practice serve patients better.

 When’s the last time that happened? What usually happens in protocol development is that someone thinks this new product or procedure would work great and it’s added in. Take advantage of the time in September to see if things really are working by printing off the codes and matching them to the perio charts of the patients. Are they getting better?

Additional reading:	The Perio Percentage KPI ... how does your dental practice stack up?

Create or reconstruct your caries management protocol.

 protocols? Are your patients on prescription fluoride experiencing less decay? How does that compare to patients on using remineralization therapies?

Evaluate your head and neck oral cancer screening processes.

 How many suspicious soft-tissue lesions did you refer out for evaluation in the first half of the year? According 

, a normal practice will see about one or two potentially cancerous lesions a week. If your practice doesn’t, what could you do better?

Start a protocol that identifies tongue ties. 

Have the patient open his or her mouth as wide as possible, then lift the tongue to the palate. How much does the mouth close to accommodate? Check out this link to 

. This is the true research you need to do to find out if products are going to work and how. Set up the search feature to look only for human studies and you’ll be off to the races. Find free full articles too. Once you’re signed in, a link in the upper right area (at this writing) will appear to choose showing only free full articles.

Set a team meeting for the hygiene department to compare notes and figure out:

· what changes could benefit the practice most

· calibrate with other hygienists and dentists

· set a strategy for the next slow month (February)

In this time of high hygiene unemployment, a MMH knows making the best use of time is critical. Going home is not a good option for most paychecks, but filing charts or cold calling patients is not a good option for the practice bottom line. Applying the MMH strategies above prove you are a keeping yourself employable and retainable.

Next time, we will look at how MMH weigh the pros and cons of juggling many responsibilities at once.

	Check Out Health Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with 


	Patti DiGangi, RDH, BS, and Shirley Gutkowski RDH, BSDH, are known for bringing their Midwestern sensibility to today’s health issues with an eye towards the future. With decades of experience in clinical dental hygiene, writing about it, speaking on it, and pondering over all aspects of it, Patti and Shirley challenge dental hygienists to reach higher levels of revolutionary thinking to meet 21st century patient needs, wants and expectations. Beware their infectious excitement, it can be catchy.
	
	Patti is the author of the fast selling 

 books and webinars and popular speaker. Shirley is the coach and primary cheerleader at 

In our previous article, we introduced the idea of the Modern Millennial Hygienist (MMH). MMH challenges our brains to use higher level revolutionary thinking. Growth and change can warp-speed return on investment (ROI) and profitability for the practice AND the hygienist. This issue, we will look at how a MMH uses the opportunities downtime provides.

5 downtime activities to show you are an indispensable Modern Millennial Hygienist

Bill and Carly are both in their early 60s. Bill is a diesel mechanic and Carly a dental hygienist. They have three children: Julie, age 29; Megan, age 26; and Samuel, age 24. 

Julie just finished and MBA program after living at home while waitressing for five years after college. She has a local placement with a good salary, yet plans to live one more year at home while attacking $150,000 in student loans.

Megan is in her second year at a dental hygiene program. She lives out of town with her parents picking up the $30,000 per year tab.  She will be totally independent in a year.

Samuel has not attended college and has been in and out of jobs since high school. He lives at home with no ambition, yet has no criminal record yet.

Adults aged 40-59 with at least one grown child---73% provided aid to an adult child in the last year.

Nearly one-quarter of 25-34-year-olds are living with parents or grandparents

 Survey found that 30% of parents helping to support grown children spend at least $5,000 a year on their kids.

The National Association of Realtors revealed that 54% of first-time home purchases were delayed in 2013 because 

Bill and Carly look forward to the next year as both Julie and Megan will be out of the nest and totally independent.  BUT, Samuel presents a persistent financial problem with no solutions in sight.  I personally know two dentists with children in their 50s still living at home.

More from Dr. Carlsen:	How hygienists can control their personal debt

More from Dr. Carlsen:	The savvy hygienist: Your personal budget in 5 minutes per month

More from Dr. Carlsen:	How hygienists can know their retirement number in less than 10 minutes

Bill and Carly are both in their early 60s. Bill is a diesel mechanic and Carly a dental hygienist. They have three children: Julie, age 29; Megan, age 26; and Samuel, age 24.  Julie just finished and MBA program after living at home while waitressing for five years after college. She has a local placement with a good salary, yet plans to live one more year at home while attacking $150,000 in student loans.

modernhygienist.com-2014-10-01

The myth of work-life balance? It's nonsense, says one dental hygienist

The 6 things every dental hygienist should be doing to grow professionally

The savvy hygienist: 5 do's and 2 don't's for the Bank of Mom and Dad [VIDEO]

5 downtime activities to show you are an indispensable Modern Millennial Hygienist

The savvy dental hygienist: 4 facts about the Bank of Mom and Dad